Painful Love
by Silli-zicuni
Summary: ON HOLD UNTIL 'DO YOU REMEMBER' IS FINISHED! Being re-written! It all started with a project... Then followed unexpected emotions. AkuRoku, Yaoi
1. Prologue

**AN: **Finally I took the time and wrote this into my computer! Another AkuRoku :)  
I'm dedicating this to Skaterstar57! I wrote this 'because her story 'I'll be there for you' got me wanting to write… And I came up with this weird thing… Thanks to her :D **  
Category:** Romance/Drama (Might be slightly humours to times… Maybe)  
**Pairing: **Axel x Roxas  
Hint of Hayner x Seifer  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or the hot guys :( It's really sad, because if I did we'd all have a better time watching the cutscenes :D  
**Warning: **Yaoi (boys loving boys) If you have anything against boy love, you're weird, and you can go read something else!Oh, yes. There will be Lemon/Limes in this! There's where the 'M' comes in.  
Note: This is really short… But it's the prologue… The actual chapters are longer!

**Prologue:  
**It was raining. The water made the boy's blonde bangs cling to his face as he ran, but he paid no attention to it. It was late, long past midnight. The only thing he could hear was the sound of his feet hitting the ground, and raindrops falling.

The boy had no idea where he was going, but he didn't care. Warm tears fell from his blue eyes and mixed with the water of the rain. The clothes he wore were soaked to his skin. His mouth was filled with the taste of blood, and his legs were starting to give in.

The boy stopped running and clutched to a tree to keep himself in standing position. He looked around and realized he had found his way to the cemetery. Slowly the teen began walking until he stood in front of a certain grave.

After a while of standing there he dropped to his knees. Tears fell faster now, and small sobs escaped his throat.  
The boy slowly started talking, his voice almost breaking as he did so.

"Mom…" he said and sobbed again. "Why did you leave me? Why do I have to be alone with _him_?" The last word was barely a whisper.

"Couldn't you be the one to take care of me? I know you would've loved me for who I am. You'd never hate me because I-"

"ROXAS!" The blonde boy tensed at the voice who had just shouted his name. He staggered to his feet and turned around to see the silhouette of a grown man approaching quickly across the graveyard.

"I knew I'd find you here, you fucking brat!" Roxas turned to run, but his legs let him down. He felt the man grab his arm hard and thug him backwards.

"What the fuck is wrong with your head? You can't just leave like that in the middle of the fucking night!" the man yelled at the blonde. Roxas tried to break free from the man's grip, but it only made his arm hurt more.

"Let go of me!" the boy yelled. The man snickered.

"So you can run? If you don't shut the fuck up and come with me, you'll regret it!" he threatened. The blonde made a sudden attempt to withdraw his arm. Electric blue eyes winded in pain when the back of the man's hand hit his chin. He felt new tears building in his eyes, but he held them back. He was not going to cry in front of _him_.

"I told you to come with me!" the man growled at the boy. When Roxas made no sign to move the man raised his hand to give the boy another hit. This time Roxas didn't manage to stop his tears from falling.

"Pull yourself together son! I won't have it that you're showing weakness!"

Roxas stared into the man's amber eyes and shot him a death glare.

"I hate you!" he screamed before dragging his arm back with all the force he could manage.

When free from the man's grip, Roxas spun around and started running. As fast as his legs could move, he ran across the field of graves never glancing back. He reached a hand to his chin. The pain from the hits still lingered, and burned fiercely. His hot tears ran freely down his face again. Roxas hated his father _so_ much. The man hadn't exactly been nice to him since his mother died two years ago, but when he had found out Roxas' secret he became awful. The boy had never dared to tell anyone about what his father did to him. Not few times had he hit Roxas. Whenever the boy had done something his father didn't like, he was hit, and hit hard. This night though, Roxas had had enough. He had run out of the house out into the pouring rain.

Roxas kept running until he stood in front of a familiar house. His body was shaking as he walked up to the door and rang the bell. He stood there, waiting. After a couple of minutes, he slowly turned to leave, just when the front door flew open.

"Have you got any fucking idea what time it- Roxas?!" the tall redhead in the doorway said. The blonde turned to face the older teen. The redhead's emerald eyes widened as he saw Roxas' cracked lip and bruised face.

"Oh my god, Roxas! What's happened to you?" he asked, concern dripping from his voice.

The blonde teen outside the door took a deep, shaking breath.

"Could I come inside, Axel?" he said with a low voice.

-

_AN: Woot!! Another story!! Yay!! Déjà vu, anyone? Yes I know angsty-Roxas in my stories always has a father that hits him… Bleh… Who cares? And I know it's short!! But the chapters are a lot longer!  
This was the prologue! The next chapters take place in the past!! We get to know what has happened the last month up 'till this moment, and then I'll continue from here… And I'm rambling!! Sorry!! There will be limes and one lemon in this! I've not planned the limes… So there might be many… xP_

_I have to stop telling ya' what's gonna happen!  
Bear with me… It may take time for me to update, since I have stupid bloody exams coming up on me!!!  
Argh!! _

_Now it's the little emo-fag Andi's turn. I love calling her that!! She calls herself that, so no hard feelings!!!! Lol!! You'll get a bathtub in this story Andi!!_

_Andi's little bathtub of words: I'm an emo-fag!!! Well actually I'm not a fag nor am I emo. I'm an un-depressed, color-loving __girl. Haha. But I like dressing up as an emo-fag, and I'm having an emo-fag-day tomorrow. That'll be fun. (By the way, I hope I don't insult anyone with using the word "fag". I know using words like that about gay people can be offensive if the person using the word is not gay, but I'm bisexual and genderqueer, so I allow myself to use words like "dyke", "fag" and other queer-related, possibly insulting words. I don't see them as insulting when queer people use them, and I do consider myself queer, as I'm bi, genderqueer and generally odd)._

_I need to limit my bathtub, but I just want to say, before I go, that I think you did a wonderful job with this story, Silli. It's one of my favorite stories you've written so far. I'm sure Skaterstar57 will love it! _

_AN2: We all love you Andi!_

_A piece of my birthday cake and the band-aids Roxas would have used for his bruises if we (Andi and Silli) hadn't stolen them for reviewers.  
OMG we're evil!!_


	2. The Project

**AN: **Sorry that I was so slow updating!! Blame Andi too!!! She had to clean her room! But now it's finally up!! Yay!  
**Category:** Romance/Drama (Might be slightly humours to times… Maybe)  
**Pairing: **Axel x Roxas  
Hint of Hayner x Seifer  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or the hot guys :( It's really sad, because if I did we'd all have a better time watching the cutscenes :D  
**Warning: **Yaoi (boys coupled with boys) so if you have problems with that, get out of here! There will be Limes/Lemon later in the story! Some OOC-ness, some mild language and slight character-bashing.  
**Important:** **This chapter takes place a month _earlier_ than the prologue!**

**Chapter 1:  
**Everyone in the classroom suddenly paid attention when the word '_project'_ was mentioned.

Roxas smiled to himself. He loved school projects. It meant a whole week of working with his best friend and regular project-partner, Hayner. The teacher cleared her throat to regain concentration.

"This time the project will be slightly different. I have already put you in pairs, so you will not pick partners yourselves" The old woman said. A loud protest came from the group of teens, but the teacher just hushed them and started to read the groups out loud. Roxas held his breath, hoping that he would be paired up with his best friend. The blonde let out a sigh of disappointment when Hayner was going to work with Seifer Almasy.

_'Dammit!'_ He thought as he waited for his own name.

"Roxas and Axel will be working together" the teacher said and continued reading.

_'Oh, just splendid!' _The blonde thought with sarcasm and slammed his forehead lightly into his desk. The redhead was that kind of guy that seemed to not give a damn. He'd flunked two times, so he was eighteen while the other students in his grade were sixteen. The guy was also a pyromaniac. Once they'd had a science project where they made volcanoes, and Axel had 'accidentally' put the whole ting on fire. That guy was just weird, and Roxas really didn't really want to get to know him.

The blonde sighed as Axel dumped lazily into the seat next to him.

The teacher waited for everyone to get seated, "Now, I guess you all wonder what you're going to be working with?" she asked. Some of the teens answered her with a simple 'yes' or a nod.

"Well, this is an art-project, therefore we want you to draw and be creative the whole week. The main theme is people, and as I said, be creative!" the woman said. Roxas cursed under his breath. The blonde couldn't draw. He really, really sucked badly at it. If he tried to draw a pony, it looked like a retarded cucumber.

"And it shall be presentable!" the teacher stated quickly. "You can work wherever you please. Some other teachers and myself will collect your work at the end of the week." Those were the teacher's last words before dismissing the students. Axel turned towards his partner.

"So… your place or my place?" he asked the blonde. Roxas looked at the redhead at his side.

"Uhm… huh?" he said. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Please don't tell me you wanna work at school?!" he said. Roxas shook his head before answering the question.

"Your place..." the blonde said. Roxas' father didn't like that he brought people from school home too often.

"Fine" Axel said and grabbed his bag before he got up and gave the younger a sign to follow. Roxas grabbed his own bag and followed the older teen out of the building.

"So," the blonde started. He figured he could give being nice a try. "Do you live far from here?" he asked. The redhead kept walking as he answered.

"Sort of… why?" he said. Roxas tried to keep the conversation going.

"Just wondering… How do we get there? Bus?" He asked. Axel turned to the younger with a smirk.

"We drive" he exclaimed and started walking against the parking lots outside the school.

"Oh, so you have a car then?" the blonde asked Axel, who just offered him another smirk.

"Nope" he stated.

"Then what are we dr-" Roxas cut himself off as they stopped in front of a black Harley Street Rod. The younger teen's blue eyes widened in awe.

"Whoa! You have a Harley?" he asked in disbelief as he continued to stare at the motorcycle in front of him. The redhead chuckled.

"Yeah, looks that way, doesn't it? C'mon let's get going" Axel said and handed the blonde a helmet before he jumped on his bike and started the engine. Roxas kept standing there, and it looked like he was spacing out.

"Yo Roxas, get on!" the redhead said. The blonde snapped out of his daze and got on the bike behind Axel.

"Now if you would be so kind not to fall off, we'd all be happy!" the older said with a laugh. Roxas automatically wrapped his arms around the redhead's waist as they started driving.

"Guess you get a lot of attention from the girls with this, eh?" the blonde called to the older teen, who was quiet for a moment before answering.

"Nah, not really… I don't care much 'bout girls anyway…" he said.

-

After about 15 minutes of driving, Axel parked the bike in front of a rather large house.

"Do you live here?" Roxas asked the older after staring at the house for a while. Axel arched a brow.

"Uhm… yes" he said before he got off his bike and walked towards the house. Roxas followed right behind him.

"By the way, my sister might be home… So don't say I didn't warn ya" Axel said before putting his keys in the lock. He opened the door and let Roxas in. The older teen slipped off his black Converse in the hall, before disappearing into another room. The blonde discarded his own shoes and followed the redhead. Just as he entered what appeared to be the livingroom, Roxas heard a "Yay" coming from Axel, who was bent over a table reading a note.

"Kairi's at the mall. That means we're not being bugged to death by my sister, who also happens to be evilness in human form." the redhead said. Roxas offered him a smile before he sat down in the couch.

"What about your parents? Is it ok for them that we're here?" The blonde asked the older. Axel shook his head before answering.

"Nah…They haven't got much to say anyway… They died in a car accident about two years ago" he said. Roxas suddenly became sad.

"I'm sorry…" he muttered. Axel offered the blonde a smile.

"Hey, it's all right. You didn't know so it doesn't matter" the redhead said. The younger suddenly pretended to be interested in the carpet.

"My mother's dead too…" he said in a sad voice. Axel dropped down in an armchair.

"I'm really sorry to hear that Roxas" he said. The blonde offered him a small smile.

"Enough about dead people and over to this project!" the redhead said. Roxas was glad the subject was changed.

"Drawing people… What a weird project" the younger said. Axel grinned.

"I think the one about volcanoes was awfully fun!" he exclaimed happily. Roxas chuckled.

"Didn't you burn your volcano-model?" he asked the older, who just kept grinning.

"As I said, awfully fun" he said. Roxas smiled back.

"So what are we supposed to do?" he asked the redhead. Axel looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Well, I've had this project twice already… It's really laid back actually. The teachers just wants us to draw a bunch of pictures" he smiled. The younger nodded and went to get his bag. Roxas sighed as he left the livingroom. When he thought about it, Axel wasn't so bad after all.

-

"Argh!" Roxas growled angrily as he crunched his drawing to a ball and threw it at a pile of similar paper-balls. Axel let out an amused chuckle from his place at the other side of the table.

"I can't draw!" the younger said and smacked his head lightly into the table.

"Well, maybe if you used more than ten seconds on a drawing you'd figure you ain't so bad" Axel smiled. Roxas shot the redhead an annoyed glare.

"And by the way, would you mind getting your face from the table, 'cause it's hard to draw when I can't see it!" the older said. Roxas' eyed the redhead with his cerulean gaze for a moment.

"You're drawing me?" he asked. Axel snickered.

"You see any other 'people' in this room?" he answered. The blonde shook his head and leaned back in his chair so the older could draw him. Every once in a while he could feel Axel's emerald eyes upon him, taking in his features. After a couple of minutes, the redhead put his pencil down.

"Done!" he exclaimed. Roxas leaned forwards and grabbed the paper from the table. He turned it and his sapphire eyes widened. The drawing was… very good. Actually it was amazing.

"Holy shnikeys! It looks just like me! How on earth did you do that, Axel?" the blonde said in awe. The older waved Roxas' comments away.

"It ain't good" he said. The younger arched a blonde brow.

"Ain't good? Who on earth are you trying to fool? It's amazing!" he said. Axel felt his face heat up slightly by the younger's compliments.

"Well, thanks" he muttered. The redhead could feel his stomach grumble.

"I don't know about you, but I'm really hungry" he said to the younger. When he thought about it, Roxas was rather hungry himself.

"Yeah… I'm kind of hungry too!" he said to the older. Axel stood up from his chair and headed towards, Roxas figured, the kitchen. After a minute he poked his head out of the doorway.

"Okay, we have two options. One: We can order pizza, or two: we can take the risk of being food-poisoned by my cooking" he said. Roxas giggled.

"Gee, I don't know… Number two sure sounds tempting" he joked "But I think I wanna live. Pizza!" He exclaimed. Axel grinned.

"Pizza it is" he said before pulling his cell from his jeans pocket and dialled the number.

After he'd ordered the pizza, Axel put his cell back in his pocket and dropped down in the couch next to Roxas. The blonde tried to start a conversation again.

"So, you live alone with your sister?" he asked the redhead who nodded.

"How's that like?" the younger said. Axel smirked at him.

"It's fine when she's not home or sleeping. So do you have any siblings?" he said. The blonde shook his head.

"No… I live alone with my father. It don't like it that much though… I try not to be home more than necessary" he said. Why was he telling Axel about this stuff? He usually didn't even talk to Hayner about things like this. The older eyed him curiously.

"How come?" he asked the blonde.

"Well," Roxas started "After my mother died he became… different. He yells at me for nothing and sometimes he just pretends I don't exist…" the younger sighed before the continued "I usually crash at Hayner's place as much as I can, so I don't have to be around him." The redhead shook his head.

"That sucks!" he said. Roxas nodded.

"But what _really_ sucks is that Hayner is staying over at Seifer's because of the project…" he sighed. Roxas could feel the older's emerald orbs upon him again.

"Y'know, you could sleep here this week, if you want to, that is. I mean… we are working on this project together, and I would save us lots of time!" Axel smiled. Roxas thought about it for a moment. The redhead had proven to actually be a nice guy. Maybe he should just give it a try? The blonde smiled at Axel.

"Yeah, I'd like that" he said. Axel smiled and grabbed his sketchpad and pencils.

"Now sit still and look pretty!" he chuckled at the blonde and began drawing.

-

After a while, the doorbell rang. Axel jumped up from the couch and headed for the front door.

"Axel?" the blonde said before the older left the room. The redhead turned to him and was met by a warm smile.

"Thanks" the blonde said. Axel returned the smile and left the room to get the pizza. Not long after he returned.

"Pizza time!" he grinned. Roxas squealed and bounced in the couch. He was _really_ hungry. The older couldn't help laughing at the boy. Roxas was actually… rather cute. No, he was adorable. Axel shook his head to remove the thoughts and put the pizza on the table. The blonde quickly opened the box and grabbed a slice. The redhead eyed the younger with an amused grin.

"You're really hungry, huh?" he asked the blonde. Roxas nodded, too busy eating to answer properly. Axel sat down and began eating as well. The pizza was gone in about the normal amount of time it takes two hungry teenage boys to eat one; somewhere around 0.4-1 minutes. Roxas leaned back with a satisfied sigh.

"That was a good pizza" he smiled. Axel nodded in agreement. The sound of the front door opening all of a sudden made the two boys jump in their seats.

"I'm hooomeee!" a female voice called from the hall. The redhead rolled his eyes.

"No, really? We didn't hear that! Try not to fucking break the door next time, would ya?" he shouted to the person.

"Shut up, Axel! It's not like you didn't burn holes in the last one!" the girl snapped from the hall. The older boy frowned as a girl walked into the livingroom. She had red hair, though not as fiery, which fell over her shoulders and bright violet eyes. Roxas figured she was about his age or a year younger.

"Oh, Axel. Who's this? Your boyfriend?" the girl asked her brother when she caught eye of Roxas.

_'What? Axel's gay?'_ The blonde thought _'Nah, she's probably just messing with him'  
_  
Axel sighed and rolled his eyes again.

"No. This is Roxas, he's a classmate of mine, we're working on a school project together" he said in an annoyed tone. Kairi walked over to the couch and sat down close to Roxas. She smiled at the blonde.

"Hi Roxas. I'm Kairi, this bastard's little sister, if you didn't figure" she said sweetly. The younger boy nodded slowly.

"I did figure…" he said. Kairi kept smiling at him.

"So Rox, is it ok that I call you Rox?" she asked. Roxas looked a bit confused.

"Uhm… I guess" he said.

"So, Rox, if you don't have any plans and want to do something better than hanging out with my dumb ass brother, wanna go catch a movie with me?" the redheaded girl asked, scooping even closer to Roxas in the couch.

"Actually…" the blonde stated, but he was cut off by Axel.

"Of course he doesn't wanna see a movie with you! He's way smarter than accepting to go on a date with a stupid bitch! Anyway, we've got work to do, so would ya back off?" he snarled at his sister. The redheaded boy grabbed Roxas by his wrist and dragged the boy out of the livingroom.

"C'mon Roxas" he said. They walked up the stairs and into Axel's room.

"Heh… Sorry 'bout that…" the redhead said and grinned sheepishly at the younger. The blonde smiled at him.

"Nothing to worry about! Thanks for saving me, by the way" he said as he dumped into an armchair. Axel raised a brow.

"Saving you?" he asked. Roxas laughed.

"Yeah, from going out with her…" he said. The redhead smirked.

"Why, you not into girls or something?" Axel said. The blonde felt his face heat up.

"N-no it's not that… She weren't my kind of girl…Sort of…" he stuttered. The older nodded.

"Right… Well I guess we can draw more tomorrow. But now, how about some videogames?" the redhead asked the younger teen. Roxas started squealing and bouncing again. Axel chuckled and couldn't help the thought that entered his head.

_'Yup! He really is adorable'_

-  


_AN: That was the first chapter people! What do you think? And I guess you're all wondering what's gonna happen the next month 'cause of the prologue! I'm not telling!! Only lil' emo-fag and Marly knows that I think…  
Whatever…Anyway… Please review… I didn't write much in my AN now, so I'll let Andi say a couple of things more than she usually does… I'll upgrade your bathtub emo-fag! _

_Andi's bubble bath of words: What do you mean only Marly and I know? M knows, I guess, but I don't know nothing._

_Anyway, I loooooove this!!! OMG, volcanoes! What was that thing about Tor and volcanoes again? You know the project in 8. grade when we had Atlantis with Henri and Tine, and Tor's group had volcanoes. There was something about him and volcanoes, but I can't remember what._

_You know what I don't understand? How you can work on so many stories at the same time. I have lots of half-finished one-shots, and three long stories that I need more chaps for, and it's driving me nuts. I've promised myself that I will finish Pure White Snow before I start anything new._

_By the way, I sincerely hope there will be lots of Kairi-bashing in this story? I'm off to bash Kairi and Rinoa in God Save the Queen. :)_

_Love the story. See ya on Monday :) _

_AN2: Hmm.. I have told you, but you've probably forgot it, emo-fag! Uhm... I have lovely reviewers.. and friends waiting for me to update... And I enjoy writing them! That's how! Lol yes indeed volcanoes!!There will be atleast SOME Kairi-bashing!!  
Love you, lil' emo-fag!!_

_A slice of pizza and Coca-Cola (because that's what I'm drinking right now) for reviewers_


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